Dialogue
by Jade II
Summary: I set myself a challenge to get Roslin and Zarek from fighting to frakking in less than a thousand words. Turns out I needed 300. Spoilers for Collaborators.
1. I

"That was quite a speech you gave back there."

"Thank you, Tom."

"Of course, it wouldn't have been quite the same if it weren't for the... actions I took, that you so disapproved of."

"I would've thought that was obvious, Mr. Vice President."

"...You still want me as your vice president?"

"Yes."

"...Huh."

"You sound surprised."

"That's probably because I am."

"Just because I disagree with some of your methods doesn't mean I don't value your opinion, Tom."

"That was more than a disagreement, Laura. That was you being so pissed at me you wanted to throw me out an airlock."

"Oh, you thought so?"

"Sure seemed that way to me."

"Tom, if I wanted to throw you out an airlock, I would throw you out an airlock."

"...I'll keep that in mind."

"You do that."

"So uh, we're good?"

"There's no need to look so terrified. Yes, I suppose we're... good."

"And there's no need for _you_ to look so smug."

"Smug?"

"Smug. You often look smug, actually, it's very... discomfiting."

"Well, I'm very sorry for your discomfiture. I'll try not to look so smug in future."

"Good. I'd like to be the smug one sometimes, you know."

"Oh, really? And what would you like to be smug about?"

"Hmm... I can think of one or two things..."

"...Tom? Why is your hand on my leg?"

"Huh. I'm not sure. I guess it must be feeling smug."

"About what?"

"About the fact that we're good."

"You think we're _that_ good?"

"I don't know... are we?"

"Your hand sure seems to think we are. I can feel that, by the way."

"That was the intention, Laura."

"Hmm. Good."

"Good?"

"Good."

"Laura... your hands are on my chest."

"Yes, they are."

"Are they feel— Ohh..."

"Tom?"

"Yeah."

"Shut up and frak me."

"...Okay."


	2. II

"Frak, how the hell does this thing come off?"

"You need to untie it before you can get to the buttons."

"Oh-kay..."

"Oh, just let me do it..."

"No need to be so snappy, Laura. I might change my mind about this."

"Right, Tom. If that's just an oversized handkerchief in your pocket I'll be very surprised. You want me."

"You think?"

"I know. I also know how to work a zipper... like so..."

"Just because my clothes are more sensible than yours..."

"What would you prefer I wore, Tom?"

"Right now? 'Nothing' seems like a good option. Speaking of which... ah, that's better..."

"Now, you're sure you remember how to unhook a woman's bra? Because honestly I thought I'd left men who had too much trouble with _that_ aspect behind me a long time ago..."

"Very funny, Laura. There, was that quick enough for you?"

"It'll do. Now take your socks off. There's something off-putting about a naked man in socks..."

"Just because you're not wearing any... speaking of which, how long is it going to take you to peel those stockings off your immaculately shaped legs?"

"I can't be too rough with them, Tom, I only have two pairs."

"Fine, but let me help."

"No. I don't trust you with them."

"You'd trust me with the vice presidency but not with a pair of stockings?"

"Precisely. You can make yourself useful by clearing the files off the bed."

"Oh, you're so romantic."

"'Romantic' wasn't my intention."

"Well, I'm glad we cleared that up."

"Tom?"

"Yes, my dearest darling Laura?"

"Get on the bed."

"You first."

"Any particular reason?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"No. I'm going to show you."

"...Alright."

"Good."

"...Oh..."

"...Good enough reason?"

"Maybe... Oh!"

"You were saying?"

"Yes... quite satisfactory..."

"Good. Now, let's get on with this 'frakking you' business..."

"...Yes. Let's."


	3. III

"You're still looking smug, Laura."

"I don't care. You look positively gleeful. Oh, right there..."

"Must be because I feel gleeful. Hmm."

"Don't stop!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm asking you not to."

"I don't care."

"I'll have you thrown out an airlock."

"I don't believe you."

"Try me."

"I will."

"You—Oh!"

"Better?"

"Yes!"

"Or do you want me to stop and go back to doing the other thing?"

"No!"

"Ah, too bad."

"Gnuh... Tom... you're evil."

"Mmhmm."

"Really evil."

"Mmhmm."

"So evil I need to do something about it."

"Wha... Laura—woah..."

"You like that?"

"Gods, yes."

"You want me to keep doing that?"

"Yes _please_."

"Then stop trying to tease me, Tom. I'm on the clock here."

"You are? Since when?"

"Since I became president about an hour ago. I'm meeting with Admiral Adama in thirteen minutes, then I'm going over the latest census figures with Tory, and then I need to prepare for tomorrow's Quorum meeting – which, by the way, you should do too."

"So I have thirteen minutes to make you scream my name."

"More like ten. Get to it."

"Yes ma'am. You're the boss."

"That's better. Oh... Gods, that's better..."

"I thought you'd like that."

"Now who's... smug...?"

"Oh, I still think you, Laura. I'm sure just the _thought_ of having your wicked way with me--"

"Right, Tom... Now... lie back so we can... move this thing along..."

"I should've known you'd want to be on top."

"Oh, is that a problem?"

"On the contrary. This way gives me a much better... view... sweet Lords of Kobol..."

"Hmm..."

"You still... have a... smug grin... on your face..."

"Mmhmm."

"I like it."

"Shh."

"Yess'm."

"Gnuh..."

"Oh, oh..."

"Ahh..."

"...Hmm..."

"Heh..."

"Hmm?"

"You're gonna be late for your meeting, Laura..."

"Nah... still got another four minutes..."

"You might wanna get dressed first, though, and do something about your hair and, uh, leakage..."

"...You're right. I'll get up."

"...I'm cold now."

"Put your clothes on."

"Good ide—ow! No need to throw them at me!"

"I'm just trying to speed things along."

"That's a trend with you, isn't it?"

"It's a necessity."

"Next time I'll have to make sure I really take my time."

"You think there'll be a next time?"

"Oh, yes. See you at the Quorum meeting, Laura."

"...Right. I'll see you there."

**End... for now**


End file.
